God Help Us

by Tim Willard

I am sitting at a nice lunch gathering. The people squashed around the table are all friends and acquaintances. We are gathered for a send-off lunch because one of our friends quit her job. Of the eight people sitting at the table, I am one of three who does not have an iPhone. I know this because everyone is looking at their phones feigning busy-ness.

The rolls and cornbread are served and we all dig in. But no one really knows what to say. We all chomp and exchange awkward glances. My butt clinches as I knife through the tension.

So, naturally, I stir up some conversation.

—Well, what are your plans? You have a plan . . . right?
—Oh, yeah. I have guaranteed work for three months at this other firm. After that, we'll see.

We do the whole "ha ha ha" thing and then dive into our lemon waters and stale cornbread. Small conversations are now starting to spring up. But they are about nothing. I'm on my third glass of water.

—More lemon, please.

I make another attempt at a conversation but this time I am greeted by "the gesture." You know, the gesture of another person reaching for his iPhone to check something—God knows what—at the same time you are trying to fire off an intelligent question.

But I'm too late. I can't get my question out before so-and-so starts tapping the glass. I am indignant.

—No! Look. I'm right here. Be here! Who could you possibly be talking to? The whole firm is right here. Look at us. Talk to us. If you want to tap something, tap my shoulder or tap your fourth glass of lemon water.

I say these things and am half serious and half insane. For, as I pan the table almost everyone is checking their phones, again. E-mails. Texts. Weather reports. Wi-fi. Word docs. PDF. All these wonderful digital things are more important than the live human being sitting right there across the table in a chair, sucking on lemon water.

You know, when the iPhone came out I wanted one. But then I told myself to wait.

—There'll be a second generation. And there was. Great. So glad I waited.

But then I didn't have the funds.

—There will be another generation, for sure.

And there was. It was even better and was less expensive. Voila! Time to buy. But for some reason, I held back.

—You know, I don't really need a new phone. This one works just fine . . . and it wasn't $200. I'll pass.

Now the iPhone is new again. This one is turbo-charged and can even record video and text it! Excellent. My culturally degenerate BlackBerry Pearl has been able to do that for two years. And yet, through all the iterations of this digital device, I held back. I didn't make the switch to the inferior network just for some pocket candy that doubles as a phone. I still have the same phone I bought two years ago. It is slow and doesn't have apps, but who cares?

At least when I'm with real people, I'm not tempted to act like they are not there or that a phone has more to offer than live humans.

Our culture is fast becoming a microwave. We push the shortcut buttons to warm our lives, buy stuff we don't need, and ignore our friends.

—Ding! Your TV-Dinner-Life is ready. What? You're not really happy or fulfilled in life? Do you have an iPhone? Well, we've got an app for that.

God help us.

Comments

Steven Holloway

Sounds like a scene from a Woody Allen film. The reaching for the phone instinctively without apparent or necessary reason is yes what we are becoming, as well as seen and felt quite visually by the awkward lack of conversation. For me this scene has played before, many times, in real life. Are the film rights available? :)

Chris Hadsell

it's funny... I'm reading this article while sitting in a lecture with one of the most brilliant systematic theologians alive. I'm online, reading an article while he is presenting a beautiful lecture on the ordo salutis.

Disconnect and connect. Deciphering what is important in what moment is the missing discipline of our generation. Who matters? and when?

i need to unplug.

jeff troyer

Insightful commentary Tim.

This is the tragedy of technology.. I liken it to when my children are watching Bob the Builder and I call for them to eat dinner.. Sometimes they don't even hear my voice, let alone see my 6'2" frame only feet away..

It all correlates, I think, to how our our great Heavenly Father must feel sometimes.. His presence and fingerprints everywhere. Yet we battle distractions, to get even a glimpse of His blatantly tangible magnitude... We frantically check for some meaningless Text that confirms our existence and offers a false sense of value, of worth.. Longing as an addict for the next hit.. The next glimpse of meaningless information.. While He waits and calls again. "Dinner is ready.." "Come, be filled.. Dine with Us. Dance with Us."

Rather, as a child with his eyes affixed to a silly fake cartoon that ends as soon as another begins, we neglect that, or they , which have any real significance in this life.. All for some cheap, feigned trick with a cheap and feigned mistress.

Call me crazy, but could technology be an incredible resource to our adversary, the devil? Not that it is in itself evil, but rather as a valuable tool to distract us from what really matters, if not kept in check?

As the fallen angel wrote to his understudy nephew: "It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out." from The Screwtape Letters by Clive Staples Lewis

Dinner's ready. Come and eat..

Don Steenhoek

Set the stage in the world before iphones and meaningful conversations were avoided without the "cover" of digital equipment. As to our current environment check out http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html.

Kristina Cutright

That is very accurate, Tim. It's amazing how easy it is to get caught up in the cyber world and get lost in it. A friend just showed me some of his apps on his iphone and I have to admit I was impressed, a calorie counter, an app for some live video streaming of a fill grown dog taking a nap in his dog crate laying on his back ( many other channels available to watch other live video of random things doing random things ) an app for his running to track his pace and distance ( awesome ) an app for music if you like a song you can open the app and it tells you what the song is called that is playing and how to buy it in itunes, I mean it is amazing all the apps available. Then I looked at my 3 year old first generation most expensive heaviest metal iphone that I adore so much that I still have a hard time replacing it and you may have a hard time believing this but I do not have any apps on my iphone other than facebook and I am not sure that is an app, maybe. So, here is this endlessly useful tool that rings sometimes that is not being used nearly to its potential. I agree with you, Tim. They are just phones, and before long people will totally forget common manners face to face, and start talking in text language even at dinner with friends, LOL, BRB and so on. I heard a sermon at Willowcreek that encouraged us to turn phones off when we get home. What a concept. Also, what is up with all the texting? What is so wrong with having a conversation? Well, unless its a dating thing then it can be nice to skip the small talk and just get to the point, but established relationships and family should get to hear a real voice from time to time, I mean I think so anyways. So, yes, good thinking Tim. I am impressed you held onto your phone all this time. Mine has a cracked screen and looks like it has been tossed out of a window of a moving car and it is still ringing periodically. I just don't have the heart to buy a new one until this one is out. It was $500 I think it should last more than 3 years. Right?

Jay Turner

So true... not just in metropolitan cities, but in small towns like I live in. Real life - face to face conversation is becoming rare. I like leaving my cell phone at home sometimes. Becoming disconnected feels so good even if only for a little while. How about life... unplugged... If we can't concentrate and focus on a human being right across the table from us - how ever do we think we can have a meaningful conversation with our creator?

Loran E. Scott

Six comments ahead of me and all of them agree that this is some sort of tragedy. However, a solution is needed. All of what you have said is true, so how do we get out of this dilemma anyhow. I am 81 years old and still employed in two jobs and I have all the problems I need to keep up with my Mac computer! It sure eats up a lot of my time, but I admit to being lost without it. Found myself in a meeting earlier today without it and had to take notes by pencil -- can I decipher those notes later? My four children are caught up in this same technology and they encourage me, but I still like the face to face time of talking about the world events in which we live. Been watching a lot of Olympics these past few days. How boring those events would be with those insightful commentators who describe what is happening for us. So, I am caught in a dilemma of being able to use and enjoy some of these technologies, but avoiding others for whatever reason. What do I--we--do to overcome these described situations in all of our lives?

jeff troyer

Great questions Loran.. I dont think anyone advocates the destruction of technology as a whole, but I, like you, struggle to find balance.. I think that's the key..

Balance and moderation in all things. People are literally addicted to technology.. I've found myself picking up my phone in the car to call someone, anyone to pass the time..

So we must combat our tendency to be uncomfortable with silence and to shy away from relationship. It's just more comfortable to surf the web than to actually engage someone..

Man's quest for self sufficiency just might be what makes him most miserable.

Technology is great, when, like everything, managed well and put in its proper place.